Inspiration - Creativity - Talent

When did you get to know you were talented as a singer?

Well, quite late I should say. I was in the first year of my university studies as an agricultural engineer. I was meant to be something else by my family, but then life overwrote their expectations as I`ve always insisted on things I liked. Music is one of those. Don`t get me wrong I am sure I would have been a wonderful agricultural engineer - she smiles- but my enthusiasm towards that was not as strong as in my band. I had been singing already in my first band when I saw one of the best Hungarian jazz singers performing at Szeged Openair Festival with a famous band, the Benko Dixiland. I was sitting among a few thousand people in the audience and I thought to myself, ``ohh God, if I could have only one lesson from that guy``. Few years later he became my singing teacher for years in Kobanya. It was a sign. One of those signs.. - She laughs.

Berki Tamas - is my old teacher`s name by the way ... Well, I could start with my parents who created value in their communities and affected the lives of thousands. Later on I got into very similar communities or found myself in a very similar role at the head of different communities, where my skills or talent were acknowledged. Namely I could mention some great musicians including Tamas as well and people who had a huge influence on my life, but if you are asking if there have been inspirational persons when writing a concrete song, poem or lyrics, then I have got to say they were dead. - Karcsi states a bit bitterly, then she continues. - Negative life events, human loss and broken relationships have rather been my muse and tool to heal unknowingly at the same time. I`ve healed myself by creative writing, poems, letters that were never sent to people I wrote them to. Sadness and apathy are my best propellers. I need to suffer to drop something beautiful out of my pen, I`m being sarcastic. But I cannot get inspired and write about chirping birds on the trees. Even if they are palm trees and parrots. - She laughs again.

Do you mean Spain now, don`t you? How did this move influence you as an artist or performer?

Oh, Darling, I could tell you about it through the whole night. Ok, I will try it in a nutshell. Well, in Hungary (and I am talking as a hospitality singer of remarkable restaurants and the highest standard hotels) as a singer we were never allowed `out` among the guests. We were treated as... - she stays speechless - well, a musician's reputation in a 4-star hotel in Hungary might come after the cleaners`. Anyway... You are just a bio-decoration expected to be unnoticed, providing the best smooth jazzy background who could never mix with the guests.

Then abroad (in Switzerland, Greece, and later in the UK) I learnt that I was an artist. Treated, known and respected as an artist. And then Spain was again totally different, as you are expected to be an entertainer and make a show. It is not enough to sing well. In fact it is not even as necessary as being amusing. I really had to grow up to this role, as the competition is huge and I am not that young any more.. (only 28 with 14 years experience).

So what does inspiration mean to you then?

What if you don`t have inspiration at all?

I don`t force it. I can`t anyway. Then I`d rather leave it than to force something that got stuck deep inside me. Better than keep deleting words, or write forced lines and thoughts, or strain my vocal chords when I don't have that moment.

How can you perform if you are not in that moment?

You get in the mood. When I am on stage, then nothing else matters. Then I am focused, I don't have anything else in my mind but the sound system and a perfect set up to take the audience with me, and songs to sing in a way that would reach out the ears and minds around me. Performing frees me from the pressure to make The Moment happen. It is the other way around I think.

How can you create new things all the time?

I put my talent in different things, and it is always only one link that connects them, that`d be me. Whatever I touched in my life (no, Boys, not you! - she bursts into laughter ) - turned into gold. Not necessarily measurable in money, but I think I managed to leave a fingerprint behind. As an athlete I was a European and World Champion, and got two ministry awards as the Excellent Student and Athlete of the Hungarian Republic. As a teacher I wrote a bilingual schoolbook for Hungarian musicians and a dictionary they can use if playing abroad or with other nationals. I collected those expressions for 5 years while teaching vocational English also at Kőbánya, where I had finished my studies as a singer. In the UK, again by establishing an individual method to use music to improve people's lives who were suffering from different types and levels of disabilities, once I was even on TV also with THIS.. But talent in itself is not enough. You need to break through, you need to have the urge to make things better or to help others to reach their best. You need to study all the time and renew and keep your own knowledge fresh. By the way the more I learn the more I realise I don't know anything.. So it takes humbleness and diligence. And most importantly. I need freedom. Freedom and trust! I need my clients to trust me that I know 100% what I am doing (or I won't do it) and give me freedom to create.